PLEASE, God, let him telephone me now. Dear God, let him call me now. I wont ask anything else of You, truly I wont. It isnt very much to ask. It would be so little to You, God, such a little, little thing. Only let him telephone now. Please, God. Please, please, please.  If I didnt think about it, maybe the telephone might ring. Sometimes it does that. If I could think of something else. If I could think of something else. Maybe if I counted five hundred by fives, it might ring by that time. Ill count slowly. I wont cheat. And if it rings when I get to three hundred, I wont stop; I wont answer it until I get to five hundred. Five, ten, fifteen, twenty, twenty-five, thirty, thirty-five, forty, forty-five, fifty.... Oh, please ring. Please.

This is the last time Ill look at the clock. I will not look at it again. Its ten minutes past seven. He said he would telephone at five oclock. "Ill call you at five, darling." I think thats where he said "darling." Im almost sure he said it there. I know he called me "darling" twice, and the other time was when he said good-bye. "Good-bye, darling." He was busy, and he cant say much in the office, but he called me "darling" twice. He couldnt have minded my calling him up. I know you shouldnt keep telephoning them ?I know they dont like that. When you do that they know you are thinking about them and wanting them, and that makes them hate you. But I hadnt talked to him in three days ?not in three days. And all I did was ask him how he was; it was just the way anybody might have called him up. He couldnt have minded that. He couldnt have thought I was bothering him. "No, of course youre not," he said. And he said hed telephone me. He didnt have to say that. I didnt ask him to, truly I didnt. Im sure I didnt. I dont think he would say hed telephone me, and then just never do it. Please dont let him do that, God. Please dont.

"Ill call you at five, darling." "Good-bye, darling." He was busy, and he was in a hurry, and there were people around him, but he called me "darling" twice. Thats mine, thats mine. I have that, even if I never see him again. Oh, but thats so little. That isnt enough. Nothings enough, if I never see him again. Please let me see him again, God. Please, I want him so much. I want him so much. Ill be good, God. I will try to be better, I will, If you will let me see him again. If You will let him telephone me. Oh, let him telephone me now.

Ah, dont let my prayer seem too little to You, God. You sit up there, so white and old, with all the angels about You and the stars slipping by. And I come to You with a prayer about a telephone call. Ah, dont laugh, God. You see, You dont know how it feels. Youre so safe, there on Your throne, with the blue swirling under You.Nothing can touch You; no one can twist Your heart in his hands. This is suffering, God, this is bad, bad suffering. Wont You help me? For Your Sons sake, help me. You said You would do whatever was asked of You in His name. Oh, God, in the name of Thine6 only beloved Son, Jesus Christ, our Lord, let him telephone me now.

I must stop this. I mustnt be this way. Look. Suppose a young man says hell call a girl up, and then something happens, and he doesnt. That isnt so terrible, is it? Why, its going on all over the world, right this minute. Oh, what do I care whats going on all over the world? Why cant that telephone ring? Why cant it, why cant it? Couldnt you ring? Ah, please, couldnt you? You damned, ugly, shiny thing. It would hurt you to ring, wouldnt it? Oh, that would hurt you. Damn you, Ill pull your filthy roots out of the wall, Ill smash your smug black face in little bits.7 Damn you to hell. No, no, no. I must stop. I must think about something else. This is what Ill do. Ill put the clock in the other room. Then I cant look at it. If I do have to look at it, then Ill have to walk into the bedroom, and that will be something to do. Maybe, before I look at it again, he will call me. Ill be so sweet to him, if he calls me. If he says he cant see me tonight, Ill say, "Why, thats all right, dear. Why, of course its all right." Ill be the way I was when I first met him. Then maybe hell like me again. I was always sweet, at first. Oh, its so easy to be sweet to people before you love them.

I think he must still like me a little. He couldnt have called me "darling" twice today, if he didnt still like me a little. It isnt all gone, if he still likes me a little; even if its only a little, little bit. You see, God, if You would just let him telephone me, I wouldnt have to ask You anything more. I would be sweet to him, I would be gay, I would be just the way I used to be, and then he would love me again. And then I would never have to ask You for anything more. Dont You see, God? So wont You please let him telephone me? Wont You please, please, please?

输入您的搜索字词 提交搜索表单